I'm thinking the second one, so maybe a bit of Vaseline would prevent damage to the seal.
And I'm thinking, actually hoping, the sender is not at 90 degrees to the tank base, creating the uneven gap, and preventing the nut from fully tightening. One of the good things about bricks, you can get your hand in the tank, wiggle it straight maybe, while tightening.
In the centre of the nut, where the electrical plug goes, there are four pins. There is a thingy there in line with the outside of the plug and the arrow to prevent the plug from being installed in a wrong orientation.