Heard a story of a guy that went sport parachuting, the course was really a poor, bargain basement class. He was instructed to pull his ripcord when his altimeter read 1,500 feet. The instructor says "If the main doesn't open, pull the reserve. They'll be a truck waiting to pick you up on the drop zone."
He donned his chute, got on the bird. Reached jump altitude and exited the aircraft. After reaching altitude, he dutifully pulled his ripcord. Nothing happened. He quickly recalled the instruction to deploy his reserve chute. Nothing happened. Moments later he sees a man flying up past him. He yells out "Hey buddy! Know anything about parachutes!" The guy flying past him says "Sorry no! Happen to know anything about BMW K-Bike fuel systems!"
Someone on the Drop Zone heard the new sky diver yell out "I bet the instructor lied about the fucking truck too."