Strange. With just the starter relay in the circuit, you should theoretically read battery potential at pin 86, because it's not a complete circuit and no current should be flowing (therefore no voltage should be dropping). There is 1.6V being dropped across something that is drawing current but there is nothing in the schematic that I can see which would cause that drop.
When you connect the ICU and press the start button, you're telling the ICU to complete the ground to the starter relay. You should measure some voltage drop at the starter switch, maybe a volt or so, to account for the drop across the switch and within the wiring and possibly within the ICU. But not 4.5V.
If you change the procedure slightly, and for step 3 plug in the EFI computer rather than the ICU, do you again read 7.6V at the starter relay?
With all the wiring back in place, when you turn over the engine, do you get spark at the plugs?